Rick Perry, the Texas Governor who’s more concerned with preventing non-existent voter fraud than preventing the execution of innocent people, was forced to issue a rare public apology today after his state’s new voter ID law unexpectedly stopped a white male from voting.
The man in question, 90 year-old Jim Wright, told reporters he had voted in every election since 1944 and had once held a job as Speaker of the House, which put him just two heartbeats away from being President.
Reached at his family hunting camp, Notracisthead Ranch, Gov. Perry told reporters he was “hornswaggled” to hear that a white man in Texas was being prevented from voting by the new law. “This must be a mistake,” he added. “My asshole Attorney General Greg Abbott assured me only minorities, students and women would be denied IDs by this new, totally non-discriminatory law.”